PET PEEVES

Pet peeves, oh sweet pet peeves. Urban dictionary describes it as an irritating experience caused by others in which you cannot control or things that people do that makes you want to punch their eyes out. I happen to feel most connected to the latter statement. Don't deny it, I know you do too.

Let me take a moment to remind you that my “Who is Sara?” introduction states that I’m easygoing. I still stand by this self-proclamation wholeheartedly. Let’s face it, we’ve all got pet peeves and I'm sure we share a few. Like nails on a chalk board, but thankfully that went out with the 90s.

It’s not my fault that people do annoying or nonsensical things. I recognize that I might do something (like once in a blue moon) that might ‘rub shoulders’ with someone else’s pet peeve but that’s obviously their problem, not mine. Allow me to continue with 9 of my pettiest peeves.

Greasy hair

I’ve had this one for a long time. Probably because I’m a fanatic about showering daily and having clean hair. I know some of you are blessed with thick and coarse hair and can go days without a single shimmer of grease. Well, I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the rest of you, who think it’s socially acceptable to be a complete grease monkey. There is absolutely no excuse to not have time to shower for like 4 days in this day and age. You aren't hunting for food or walking 20 miles to gather water at the well. Unless you’re hungover on a Sunday afternoon, in which case I completely understand. 

Men with long and/or dirty nails

Ew. We all know guys are more judgmental than girls. There are many critical men that have expressed to me over the years that they will dock points on the 1-10 attractiveness scale based on a woman’s manicure/pedicure. Or lack therefore. Really? Can we not with the double standard on this? If you want us in the kitchen, fine. But clean your shit up too. No one wants to cook for a 6 that has to get bumped to a 4 because they've got Edward Scissorhands.

People who use the “time of the month” against you

Ok. Ladies, I know you have to feel me on this one. You’re being overtly sensitive or you happen to flip the F out for no ‘apparent’ reason. The boyfriend, over involved coworker, annoying brother or downright rude friend, there is nothing like being completely on edge for reasons unknown even to you when someone throws at you “are you on your period or something? You’re acting crazy.” Oh, crazy am I? Am I crazy? I’m sorry that 2 weeks out of the month I can’t seem to get a handle on my emotions… or my eating habits. Or I’m bed ridden for 2 days because of this little thing called worst cramps EVER. All so one day I can contribute to society by carrying a child for 9 months, lose elasticity in my skin, develop other potential health issues, and lose privilege to my favorite things like sushi. Or Tequila. 

Bad Drivers

I don’t know what it is about bad drivers that literally brings out the ugliest in people. Oh wait, I do know. I’ve got somewhere to be, can you honestly not drive 15 below the speed limit? Or hey guy, tailgating me isn’t going to make traffic dissapear. Or hey A-HOLE, HOW ABOUT A BLINKER? My vocabulary is already colorful, but thanks to bad drivers I'm able to surprise even myself sometimes.

Blowing your nose

This especially grosses me out. Particularly those that think it’s 100% ok to do it while we're at the table eating. Seriously? Why? Unless you’re balling your eyes out and I’m too compassionate and selfless to ask you to take it to the confines of a restroom, this is not OK.

Germaphobes

I know many of these types. I understand cleanliness, believe me. I encourage and practice it daily. But those who are extremist, like can’t touch this or omgomg GERMS. Get a clue people. The everyday things you touch without thinking have a shit ton more germs than the things you think are infested. Like your steering wheel…or better yet, your iPhone. Ya I said it, your cherished iPhone. So in all things holy, just STOP.

Chewing with your mouth open

Messy eaters are gross in itself.. but honestly, I really don’t need to see what your dinner looks like mashed up in your mouth. At least try to make an effort to silence yourself until your final swallow, or for heaven’s sake at least cover your mouth if you need to say something so incredibly pressing that it can't wait 45 seconds. 

Bad grammar and spelling

You’re and your. There, their, and they’re. Then and than. To and too. “I’m secretly judging your grammar” ecards make me feel like someone in this world understands me. I'm a forgiver so the occasional slip up due to typing too fast, having a momentary brain fart or being drunk, is fine. It's those that I know don't give a rats @$$ about learning the difference. Oh and don't even get me started on ppl that write lyke dis 'n think itz kewl. It isn't.

Gym selfies

You work out daily, cool. I’m jealous. Your sports bra matches your nike free’s, double cool. You have an 8-pack, toned thighs, or Arnold Schwarzenegger (body builder days) size arms, triple cool. None of this makes taking a selfie at the gym or at home or in the bathroom, cool. You were skinny fat, or just fat, and now you’re toned, buff and proud. I get that. I’m hoping to feel that glorious accomplishment one day. So if you want to post one pic, fine. Posting one every other day is extremely aggressive. No one likes a show-off.